Trust
by Abinikai
Summary: Slash. RLSB. Slightly angsty. Sirius goes to Remus's house over Summer break, and helps Remus discover some interesting things about himself.
1. Summer Break

Author: Abinikai, Not_Daves_Sister, whatever name you can come up with  
  
Fandom: Harry Potter, of course  
  
Title: Trust  
  
Pairings: RL/SB (though they don't know it yet)  
  
Year: Fifth  
  
Rating: G, so far. Expect that to change.  
  
Disclaimer: You've heard it all. I don't own it, J.K. Rowling does. So don't sue me, please. I don't have twenty bucks to my name.  
  
Dedication: Maja, the evil Bosnian chick sitting next to me, wondering what Slash is. Poor deprived soul. I am portraying her to a dime, here. Almost everything is true.almost. She's not this nice. Just kidding. She's fun, even if she is.cruel, heartless and mean. Even though she probably won't ever read this, it's still dedicated to her, at mostojic@rabungap.org. Email her about it-she won't have a clue what you're talking about! Evil Bosnian Chick.  
  
Chapter One: Summer Break  
  
Remus wiped the sweat off his face with a towel. He had detention today with Sirius. The gang had pulled a prank on the Slytherines the other day, but only Sirius and he had been caught. The detention was served with the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Ostojic (yes! Evil Bosnian Chick!). She was having them build a new cage for the animals she was bringing in next week, and even though she was supposed to be dictating them, she was doing most of the work herself. The students had secretly nicknamed her "Clyde" after the Clydesdale horses that worked so hard, for she was a major work-aholic.  
  
"Remy. Can ya help me with this plank?" asked Sirius. They had to put up heavy planks, because the creatures were supposedly big and strong, though they had yet to hear what they were going to be.  
  
Remus held the plank in place while Sirius hammered it in. Remus daydreamed while he held the plank, mostly about a cold glass of lemonade with a lot of ice-a fan would be nice, too.  
  
What seemed like a few seconds later, Remus was jerked back into the real world. "Remus. You're daydreaming. Stop it." The professor. She was one heck of a slave driver when she wanted to be.  
  
Remus sighed, and held the next plank for Sirius. Since he wasn't allowed to daydream, and he had nothing else to do, he studied Sirius.  
  
Sirius was handsome, he guessed. He was really tall, and the long black hair was always impeccably clean. He was well-muscled, and very tan. Remus noted that he looked good without his shirt on, though he wasn't attracted in that way. He could see why Sirius seemed to be the school-whore. All the girls must fall for him the moment they see him.  
  
Remus and Sirius had been friends since they met at the train station. Remus had been in an empty compartment, and Sirius came in without knocking on the door. Remus had been reading, and accepted when Sirius asked if he and his two buddies, James and Peter could share the compartment. All the others were full, and they wanted a little more privacy. The girls couldn't seem to stop 'accidentally' wandering in after that.  
  
Sirius had introduced himself, and then introduced James and Pete. It didn't take long for Remus to figure out that they were planning the best way to prank the Slytherines, and when Sirius came up with an impossible plan, with no way to accomplish it, Remus had given his idea on how to carry through with the prank. A month later, every single Slytherine had been missing every single pair of underwear they owned, all of which was hanging on the castle walls in places too remote to reach easily, but very, very visible. Dumbledore had been quite amused, and they had gotten a week's detention for it. They had been friends ever since.  
  
Now, five years later, Remus noticed that they had never really grown closer. Sure, they were friends, and they supported, defended and laughed with each other, and they knew each other's birthday and such, but they weren't really close. They weren't so close that they talked about girls with each other willingly, and they weren't so close that the silence was comfortable all the time. Remus judged how good a friendship was with how comfortable he was around the person when it was quiet, with no conversation and nothing to do, and no one else around. If he didn't have to look for something to say at times like that, it was a real friendship. That wasn't the case here.  
  
"Siri, what's your family like?" he asked. Better have a conversation than be in uncomfortable silence.  
  
Sirius straightened up and wiped the sweat out of his eyes. "I don't really have one. I lost my mother three months after I was born, and my father was a druggie. The 'authorities' took me away when I was two, and I lived in an orphanage for three years. On my fifth birthday I was adopted."  
  
"Oh. Sorry I asked."  
  
"No problem. What about you? What's your family like?"  
  
"They're nice. I have a little sister, but I don't get to see her often. My parents travel a lot, too. They come home about once a month." Sirius nodded, understanding. He knew what that meant. They came home to help him with the change, and left him on his own the rest of the time. He picked up another plank and Remus held it while he began to hammer again.  
  
"What did you do while they were away?" he asked casually.  
  
"Not much, really. They always brought books for me to read, since I loved them so much. Once they brought a book on Hogwarts when I was eight, and that's why I wanted to come here. I went out in the woods a lot, and I had a lot of secret places. Over the summer I go to all of them, just to visit my old romping grounds. I swam a lot in the lake nearby, and I went fishing a lot. I seemed to have fish dinners more times than was healthy."  
  
Sirius laughed. "Fish dinners? Are you good at cooking it?"  
  
"I had to be. I mean, I was on my own a lot, and I wasn't going to have burnt fish five nights a week. I can cook it any style, any way, any taste. You name it. I even came up with some.interesting ways to cook it."  
  
Sirius laughed again. "Like what?"  
  
"I would cut up the meat, fry it in a bread mix, season it, and eat it with peanut butter and chocolate."  
  
Even the professor laughed at this (no, she actually did!). "You're right. That's really, really weird," said Sirius after he had caught his breath and the tears had stopped streaming down his face.  
  
"It's actually really good if you cook the fish right."  
  
"I think I'll pass. What else did you cook?"  
  
"Rabbit, any bird I could catch. I even cooked snake a couple times, with the help of a recipe card. I didn't want to eat it without advice on how to cook it."  
  
"Didn't your parents bring you food? Or couldn't you go to the village and get some?"  
  
"The village was five days walk away, and I didn't have a car. Even by car it was a few hours. And the food my parents brought was things like celery, broccoli and other weird things. After they figured out that I cooked my own food they brought a lot of seasonings for me."  
  
"Cool. Maybe this summer I can come over and you can cook for me."  
  
"Sounds nice. My parents won't have to come either, if you come when they usually come."  
  
"Right. I'll talk to my mom and dad about it. They won't mind."  
  
"How many more days until summer? I can't remember."  
  
"Fifty-one, not counting weekends. Seventy-one if you do. Ten weeks, one day, counting today." That's Sirius for you. He began counting the days to summer the first day of school.  
  
"Very cool. Thanks." We picked up the next board and started putting that one up. In the time it had taken us to do three boards, Professor Ostojic had already done five. She was yelling at them and telling them to "hurry up, you lazy bums."  
  
The rest of the detention was quite uneventful. At one point the Slytherines came to make fun of them, but were soon scared away by the evil Bosnian chick professor. Remus could have sworn she grew three times in size, but when he blinked she was normal height again, about the same as him.  
  
* * *  
  
The summer came quickly. Exams passed, the farewell ceremony had spiked juice (complements of the marauders). On the train ride Sirius discussed a prank for the next year with James, and Remus came up with the best way to pull it off. That's why he was part of the group, said Remus. He was the brains, the rest were the brawn. It was that simple.  
  
They got off the train, and waited with James and Pete until they were gone. Sirius was going home with Remus for the first three weeks, and then he would go back home. That took him a week past the first fool moon of the summer, and gave them some time to explore and have fun.  
  
Remus saw his parents and waved them over. He nudged Sirius and they started walking down the platform. Most of the people were gone by now-his parents were a little late, even though Remus hadn't expected them to be on time.  
  
Remus introduced Sirius to his parents, for though Remus and Sirius had been friends for five years, Sirius had never met his friend's parents. On the ride home, it was slightly uncomfortable. Remus' parents were uncomfortable with the idea of other people knowing about his disease, and having one of those people stay with him over the full moon, even if he had done it for the past few years, made them more uncomfortable.  
  
Two days later they arrived at the house, and the day after, Remus' parents left. They had another two weeks and four days for unsupervised fun, and Remus had no idea what to do. 


	2. Sunsets

Author: Abinikai, Not_Daves_Sister. You name it, I've been called it.  
  
Fandom: Harry Potter, of course.  
  
Title: Trust  
  
Pairings: RL/SB (though they still don't know it)  
  
Year: Summer after their fifth  
  
Rating: PG, because young children probably shouldn't read slash without a parent's guidance. I don't think I cuss in it.yet. Oh, and sexual references. Actually, Siri asks about it directly.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope. Still not mine. See first chapter for the details.  
  
Dedication: This one's for Dave/Ashley/Moonpuppy, our Remus/Sirius fan of the year. She won't take anything else, end of story. This one's for you, Ash. Just because you love them so much. Email her at hibikinabiki@yahoo.com. She'd love to hear from ya!  
  
Chapter Two: Sunsets  
  
Sirius was lying spread-eagle on the moth-eaten couch that took up the bulk of the small living room. Remus was lying on the floor below him. It was only the end of the first week, and so far they had discussed everything they could think of, and still Remus wasn't comfortable with him.  
  
Sirius broke the hour-long uncomfortable silence with, "Is this as uncomfortable for you as it is for me?"  
  
Remus was taken aback with the bluntness of the question. Then he laughed. "Yes. So you noticed it too."  
  
Sirius sat up and faced Remus. "Why is it so uncomfortable. I find myself looking for something to say, but we've talked about it all so far. You got any ideas?"  
  
"Nope. You know that day we were in detention? That's when I noticed the problem."  
  
"Ah. I've been pondering it for the week. You've known about it much longer, haven't you? Know any cures?"  
  
"Well, we could go into the woods and hope it fixes itself in time."  
  
"Good idea. It'll at least give us something to do."  
  
Sirius put some pants on (he had been in boxers) and a t-shirt. Remus did the same. Ten minutes later they had two sandwiches, two cokes and they were on the trail.  
  
First Remus took Sirius to the lake. They went out in the boat, and after an hour they had caught three fish, all Remus'. Sirius had caught one tiny fish, about an inch long. Remus had laughed at him, and threw it in the pot to cook later. It would be Sirius' treat later on. He knew just how to fix it, with butter and garlic.  
  
Remus tied the fish high up on a branch and they headed out again. They went everywhere Remus knew of. They went to an abandoned bear's den, to the biggest tree in the forest (which they climbed to the top), and twenty other places. They laughed, joked, pushed each other in the lake, and did everything else they could think of.  
  
"Tell me something I don't know about you, Remus," began Sirius.  
  
"I don't trust. I mean, it's hard for me to trust anyone. The wolf trusts no one, and that influences me. I tell the wrong person, my secret's out. I make a wrong move around someone I let my guard down, and my secret's out."  
  
"You don't trust me or James or Pete, or even your parents?"  
  
"I don't even trust myself. The wolf doesn't either. Anyone can let it slip. I've told you and the others out of necessity or accident. Sometimes because I just needed someone to know. It's hard to trust people when my secret can slip at any time, and then my life's ruined."  
  
"Dumbledore?"  
  
"Nope. I love the old man, but I don't trust him. Not him, or anyone else." Sirius let the conversation drop.  
  
Near dusk, they ended up three miles from home. Remus could walk back easily, but he figured Sirius might have trouble. "You want to spend the night out here?"  
  
"Does it mean we don't have to walk back, cause my feet are killing me."  
  
"You got it."  
  
"Do you know a good place to stay?"  
  
"Sirius, I'm a werewolf. You should know better to ask."  
  
Sirius laughed and nodded. "So where are we staying."  
  
"You'll see."  
  
Remus started up a nearby path, one he had made himself for this reason alone. They reached the top of the hill just as the sun was beginning to set. They were on top of a cliff, looking out over the entire valley they were staying in. In the distance they could see the lake, but not much else other than the tops of trees.  
  
"So where's the house?" asked Sirius.  
  
"That direction." said Remus, pointing off to the right a little. Remus was staring off into the sunset, watching the colors change from red to pink to blue to purple.  
  
"Wow. That's pretty Remy."  
  
"Yeah. I've come here ever since I was bit. My mom came with me at first, but that lasted about a month. Since then, it's been just me.until now."  
  
"Wow. Thanks."  
  
The two watched the sunset, not saying a word. At first, Remus noticed something different. Then, after he thought about it, he realized what it was. The silence was comfortable. He didn't want to break it. Too bad Sirius did.  
  
"Is it just me, or is this much better than before?" he asked.  
  
"Not just you. Ya think we found the cure?"  
  
"Maybe. We'll have to see."  
  
"Yeah." Remus looked at Sirius, just as Sirius looked at him.  
  
Remus knew Sirius was bi. He just never knew he was. Remus felt his heart leap just as he met Sirius' eyes. He tried to suppress the feeling, but it wasn't really working. Sirius smiled, and leaned a little closer.  
  
Their lips, just a few hairs away, and Remus' stomach had butterflies flying around. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and pulled away.  
  
Sirius closed his eyes and looked at his feet. "I should've known. You're straight. Sorry 'bout that.I got carried away with the moment. Sorry Remy."  
  
Remus looked at the last dying rays of the sunset. A few seconds later it was gone, and Remus was finding the trees quite interesting. "Don't worry. It was part my fault."  
  
"No, Remus. It wasn't." Neither of them talked for a while.  
  
"Right. The silence thing's back."  
  
"Yea. I noticed. I think we killed the cure."  
  
"Yep. Mmm-hmm." Remus nodded, fully agreeing with Sirius. He looked over at him, but Sirius was looking out over the lake. "Know another cure?"  
  
"No. I don't." Sirius looked back at Remus. "You?"  
  
"No. Sorry."  
  
Remus suddenly began talking about something, anything to break the silence. "Then my mom gave me a teddy bear. It was my first real present since I got bit. I named it Piglet.I'm not sure why."  
  
Sirius couldn't take it. "Remus, just stop. We'll fix this. I won't leave this summer until we fix it. So how do we fix it, 'cause I really want to see my house in two weeks." "Right. Any ideas."  
  
"Yeah. One." Sirius leaned over and kissed Remus lightly on the lips. Remus went rigid. To say the least, it wasn't something he expected. It was light, so Remus almost thought he had imagined it, but it was real.  
  
"What was that, Siri?"  
  
Sirius pulled back, making sure there were a few inches between them, and cleared his throat. "Um, that would've been a kiss, Remy."  
  
"Right. And that was supposed to fix the problem?"  
  
"Um, no, not really. I just wanted to finish it. I needed to finish it. No reason, really."  
  
"Oh. Okay then." More silence. "The problem's not fixed yet, is it?"  
  
"Nope. Not yet."  
  
"Right. My turn to try and fix it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Right." Remus sat in silence a little longer, than leaned over. "Siri.I haven't kissed anyone before." Sirius looked at Remus, but the blonde was staring at his lips. Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus again. This kiss wasn't as quick, and was slightly firmer than the first one.  
  
"Was that one supposed to be a cure?" Sirius questioned.  
  
"Well, no not really. I was hoping, but I'm guessing it didn't help."  
  
"Really. 'Cause I thought it helped. Try again?" Remus nodded. Soon they had repositioned themselves to a more comfortable place, but they kept kissing. Neither really knew how or why it happened. Sirius just knew it was right.  
  
Remus was having his doubts, though. As far as he knew, he was perfectly straight. Sure, the occasional guy had turned him on, but wasn't it always girls who stole his heart? Then, after a little more time kissing-he wasn't sure how much time had passed, but as he kissed Sirius more, he started to realize something. He never really had a crush on girls. Sure, he had talked about how sexy a girl was, or how beautiful she was, or if she slept around, but another guy had always started the conversation. And he always left after a few minutes because the conversations made them uncomfortable. Suddenly he realized that he never really showed any real interest in girls.  
  
Suddenly Remus pulled away. "Siri." He leaned his head against Sirius' chest, which happened to be in the right place. Sirius had done this a long time. "Why?"  
  
Sirius rested his chin on Remus' head and stroked his hair. "I don't know what you mean, Remy."  
  
"Why this. I thought I was straight."  
  
"Have you ever thought of being bi?"  
  
Remus laughed. "No, thankfully. My parents would flip."  
  
"How will they react to you being gay?"  
  
Remus sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm not sure I am, Sirius. I'm really not." "Yeah you are. I know." Remus looked up, questioning with his eyes. "Remy, have you forgotten? I'm bi, and the school whore. I can spot a gay guy twenty miles away. I just decided not to mention it. You obviously didn't know, and I wanted you to find out yourself."  
  
"Liar."  
  
"No! Really, that's the truth." Remus snuggled against Sirius and made a disbelieving noise.  
  
Then he looked up into Sirius' eyes. "I'm nervous."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I've never been gay before."  
  
Sirius laughed. "That's nothing to be nervous about. You should probably be nervous about sex, not your sexual preferences."  
  
"Who said we're having sex?"  
  
Sirius' eyebrows went up. "No sex? But I assumed-"  
  
"That's right. You assumed. You should never assume anything with me."  
  
"I've learned that now."  
  
"Good." 


	3. Long Summer

Author: Abinikai, Not_Daves_Sister. You name it.  
  
Fandom: Harry Potter. You should know that by now.  
  
Title: Trust  
  
Pairings: RL/SB  
  
Year: Summer after their fifth  
  
Rating: PG-13. Minor bad language. More sexual references, and a bit of angst.  
  
Disclaimer: See other chapters. I still don't own it, and I'm still broke.  
  
Dedication: My new puppy. He's small, and a mutt. He's adorable. His legs are too short for his body, and his voice is too big for his size. He's a something-Boston terrier mix.he looks a lot like the dog in "The Mask." Can anyone tell me the name of the dog, cause I can't remember. That's how adorable he is! He likes to lick your face, and.I love him. I almost didn't get to keep him, but my Dad's a sucker for a cute dog. And even though my new puppy can't read this, and he is still nameless, he's cute. Anyone have an idea for a name? You can't email him, though. He doesn't have an account. Use my account.  
  
Chapter Three: Long Summer  
  
Sirius' heart went out to Remus. It had been three days since they first kissed, and they hadn't really stopped. Remus had made the fish, and Sirius had kissed him. Remus hadn't allowed sex, but he didn't really expect it. He knew they mated for life, and he didn't want to put Remus through something like that.  
  
Sirius knocked on the door to the bathroom. About an hour earlier, while they were eating lunch, Remus had burst into tears. Even though Sirius had said nothing, and he and Remus were sitting on opposite sides of the room, and Remus had no reason to cry, he still burst into tears. He wouldn't say a word about it, either. Every time Sirius apologized and asked what happened, Remus would say, "It's not your fault. Now go away."  
  
It was dusk before Remus came out. His eyes were swollen and red, and his face streaked with the paths of countless tears. Sirius stood up, and went to Remus. He kept a good foot between them, though, when he saw Remus shy away from him.  
  
"Remy-" started Sirius, only to be cut of.  
  
"Sirius, I don't want apologies. I should be the one apologizing to you."  
  
"What do you mean, Moony?"  
  
"Don't call me that. I mean, I've decided not to be gay."  
  
Sirius smiled inwards. He knew you couldn't decide something like that. It had to come in its own good time. But let Remus find something like that out on his own. "Right," he said, a little sadly so as not to give himself away. "So I guess this means no chance at sex?"  
  
Remus exploded. "Sirius! Read sometimes! You might find out that werewolves mate for life." Remus' voice became quieter, almost a whisper. Remus started to cry again. "For fucking life. All of it. End of story. And anyways," Remus said, beginning to smile in a crude, sadistic way. "Have you ever heard of a gay werewolf?"  
  
Sirius backed off a little to give Remus space. "I know about mating for life. It was a joke, but I guess you're not in the mood. Maybe you should go re-read The Mating Habits of a Werewolf, though. It would do you some good."  
  
Remus wiped away his tears and looked inquisitively at Sirius. "What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously, apprehension all in his voice.  
  
"Go to the big bookshelf." Remus walked to the bookshelf that covered most of the wall on one side of the room. "Bottom shelf, in the corner. Yeah, the red one. Go to page forty-three. There? Now read the second paragraph from the bottom.  
  
Remus began reading the passage to himself.  
  
The sexual preferences of werewolves were unknown for a long time. As it turns out, from a recorded study done in the year 1947, about 62% of recorded werewolves end up being homosexual, for a reason undetermined as of yet. Another 33% are straight. The remaining 5% of werewolves are bi- sexual. The reason for a low amount of bi-sexual wolves is believed to be their disgust at themselves at being indecisive. All of the werewolves recorded as being bi-sexual did not enjoy the inability to choose what sex they preferred. The reason for so many homosexual werewolves is highly debated among top scholars. Many believe that the wolves begin to prefer the sex of wolf or human the same as the sex of the wolf that bit them. This reason is hard to prove, as very few wolves know the sex of the wolf that bit them. Another hypothesis that wolves do not wish for babies, so they take after their own sex to prevent offspring. This reason is highly disregarded, though, as even many of the homosexual werewolves adopt children, as they cannot produce their own.  
  
Remus hadn't noticed that his tears had started again. Neither had he noticed that Sirius had stepped closer from his position across the room- much closer.  
  
"Remy, it's alright to be a gay werewolf. Most are."  
  
Remus growled, a low and throaty noise coming from his neck. "I'm not. I refuse to be gay. Sorry, Siri. But I won't. I'm part of the 33% straight."  
  
Remus began crying again, and then ran back into the bathroom. Sirius sighed, extremely depressed. His Remy had finally come around, finally came out of the closet, and he, Sirius Black, had been there to witness it. He had kept it a secret that he wanted to be the first person to kiss Remus, the first one to experience that mouth. And his heart stopped when he was. He had loved his Remy ever since he laid eyes on him, reading in the train with his golden hair falling around his face. The kiss had only intensified those feelings. Now, he would be the only one to witness Remus coming out of the closet.  
  
Sirius hung his head and began crying. Not the quiet kind of, 'oh, woe is me,' kind of crying, but the heart-wrenching, tear-jerking, chest-heaving sob. Remus came out to see what was wrong, but quickly retreated to the safety of the bathroom. He had never seen Sirius cry. And he never wanted to again.  
  
* * *  
  
The transformation went well, but not much else did. Remus spent most of his time in the bathroom or his room crying, and Sirius spent most of it out in the woods or in the living room, where he had taken up sleeping. Soon it was time for Sirius to go, and that tore at Remus.  
  
"Bye Siri," said Remus, his eyes downcast. "See ya at school."  
  
Sirius placed two fingers under Remus' chin and lifted it upwards, looking into the eyes filled with tears. "Remy, I love you. I didn't mean to, but I do. I'm sorry this happened, my Moony. I really am. I'll owl you-please respond. Remy. Please. And I'm sorry the cure didn't work. Nothing did, really."  
  
"Sorry I wasn't a better host." Remus gave a sarcastic chuckle. "I said I'd cook for you, but that only happened for the first ten days! The rest of the time, you ate whatever you found!"  
  
"I loved all ten days of the food. Thanks Remus. I had-a good time. Any time spent with you is good."  
  
"Sorry Siri. Sorry I wouldn't-I won't-be gay."  
  
Sirius smiled, pain showing through his eyes. He tried to hide it, but Remus saw. The sadness almost made Remus begin crying again, but he didn't. He wouldn't. "It's alright Remy. Moony. I forgive you. Anyways-" Sirius smiled and looked at his feet, then back at Remus, "I could never stay mad at you."  
  
Sirius used floo powder and the chimney to leave.  
  
* * *  
  
Remus barely made it to the couch before he collapsed in tears. It was never really Sirius' fault that he stayed in his room. It was the wolf's. Even though Remus had decided to be straight, the wolf in him wouldn't accept it. The wolf wanted to run and screw Sirius wildly every time the wolf saw him, or smelled him, or anything else. That's why Remus retreated to his room-very little Sirius smell there. And in the bathroom, Sirius didn't have a strong scent either.  
  
The wolf wanted, craved, and almost needed Sirius. But Remus couldn't. Remus was afraid. He was afraid of being gay, of kissing Sirius, of finding love, and most of all, of mating for life. He didn't want to do that, but the wolf obviously did. No wonder so many werewolves were gay. The first time they were remotely aroused, even if it was by another or the same sex, they wanted to fuck that person senseless.  
  
Remus couldn't take it. Maybe he could drop out of school. Or he could just disappear. Run away to a remote place with no people, where he could never fall in love and he could never bite another person, and stay there until he died.  
  
But part of him-and all of the wolf-wanted to see Sirius again. He wanted to hold Sirius in his arms one more time, kiss him one more time, whisper to Sirius that he really did love him.  
  
Remus shook his head and growled. No. He was not gay. He never was gay. And he would never be gay. Remus shoved the feelings down, out of the way. It would be a long summer. 


	4. One Kiss

Author: Abinikai, Not_Daves_Sister, whatever.  
  
Fandom: Harry Potter (haven't I said all of this already?)  
  
Title: Trust  
  
Pairings: RL/SB, JP/LE, RL/BS  
  
Year: Sixth  
  
Rating: PG-13. More angst, more language. You know the deal.  
  
Disclaimer: Said it before, I'll say it again. I'm broke-don't even have the twenty bucks anymore. Don't sue me. I don't own the thing, and I'm not making money off it. Darn.  
  
Dedication: Umm.whom can I dedicate this one to? To my mom, who would scream if she saw what I was writing. Poor soul. Hasn't even heard of slash! But-yeah. Hopefully she won't read this, or even find out I write it. She would pitch a fit. So I'm not giving you her email address.  
  
Chapter Four: One Kiss  
  
Remus nervously hopped on the train, trying to be discrete and unseen. Sirius had owled him all summer, talking about nothing in particular. The catch of the day, what James did, his new idea to prank the Slytherines. Things like that. Perfectly normal, everyday letters, if you disregard the phrase at the bottom of every page. "I love you." Every single letter, no matter how long it was or what it talked about, had that written at the very bottom, in writing almost too small to see. Remus had discovered it the tenth letter he had gotten, and when he looked back at all the others, there it was, at the very bottom. Scrawled in the tiny, miniscule handwriting that belonged to Sirius Black.  
  
Remus took the very last cart, completely devoid of people. The next cart didn't even have people in it, or the next. The third cart away had people, though. After some research, he found that Sirius, James and Pete were about ten away. James was with his new girlfriend, Lily Evans. They had asked where he was, but the person Remus sent to find out hadn't told anything, thankfully.  
  
About halfway through the trip, the door to the cart slid open. Sirius turned and closed it, not even looking at Remus. His eyes downcast, Sirius sat on the seat opposite him. Remus watch Sirius the entire time, eyes prying for information.  
  
Suddenly a smile spread across Sirius' face, and he looked up into Remus' eyes. "Remy, buddy, found you a girl. Her name's Barbara Smith. She's a Ravenclaw, and she has long black hair and a pretty smile. Since you are straight, you know, I figured I'd be a friend and find you a girl. James helped, of course. A friend of his new girlfriend, Lily Evans."  
  
"I heard about Lily."  
  
"I figured that first year that came in asking if I was Sirius Black and who the others were was sent by you. Poor guy was terrified. What'd you give him?"  
  
"A sickle."  
  
"Good boy. You know how to get your info."  
  
A strange silence followed. Remus broke it tentatively. "Sirius.I saw what you wrote at the bottom of every letter. Why are you doing this?"  
  
Sirius looked away. "Remy, it's true. I tried to stop it, but I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. Ask Jamie. He knows. But.to answer your question, I want you to be happy. If you want to be straight, I'll find you a girl. So forget about it. As of now, we are just friends. Nothing more, and I hope nothing less. I won't even talk about it again, okay?"  
  
Remus smiled, tears coming to his face. The wolf was tearing him up inside. He compromised with it. "Well, one last kiss. To repay you."  
  
Sirius looked up, and his eyes were full of pain. "No. No kiss. We're just friends, Remy. Just friends." Sirius drew away. Then he stood up, took a deep breath and smiled. "Come on. James and Pete are waiting, and Lily wants to meet you. I told them I'd find you, and here you are. Now, if we don't hurry back, I'm afraid they'll send out a search party for the both of us. Plus, that Ravenclaw is in the cart next to us, and I want you to meet her."  
  
Remus was staring at the wall. "Right. I'll be there in five minutes." Sirius left, and Remus cried. The wolf was right. He really had wanted to kiss Sirius then. He didn't expect to be turned down. Remus quickly dried his tears and headed to the cart his friends were staying in.  
  
* * *  
  
Remus found that he really liked Lily. She was kind and sweet, and Head Girl. And she was perfect for James. There was an uncomfortable silence between Remus and Sirius, so Remus talked with Peter. Twenty minutes after he arrived, the Ravenclaw girl James had talked about walked in.  
  
"Barb. This is Remus," introduced Sirius.  
  
Barbara smiled and sat next to Remus. "Hi Remus. It's nice to meet you-I've heard a lot about you from Sirius."  
  
Remus smiled, already finding himself liking her. He tried not to compare her to Sirius, but failed miserably. Her hair's not as dark as his. And she's not as tall. A little shorter than me, I'd say. I can't go out with her. "Hi. It's nice to meet you. Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?"  
  
Barbara smiled and nodded, a blush coming to her face. She handed the camera she was holding to Sirius, and he took a picture of them. She was a muggle-born girl, and when she heard about moving pictures, she had to give it a try. Remus said he would show her how when she was done with the role of film.  
  
The train ride went smoothly. Near the end the girls went to the bathroom to change, and the boys changed in the car. James was the first to speak. "Okay. Sirius, Remus, what's up."  
  
Sirius looked at James, a look of surprise on his face. "What do you mean, Jamie?"  
  
"You only talk like that when you're guilty of something, Sirius Black. What happened when you went to Remus' house over the summer?" asked James, looking pointedly at Remus and the back at Sirius.  
  
Remus spoke up. "Nothing. Don't worry about it, James. It's over and done with." Remus winced when his voice cracked, but other than that, his mini- speech went well.  
  
"Look." Sirius. "What happened is between us. Don't pry, James Potter. It's none of your business."  
  
"Whatever, Sirius. I hate it when you're like this. Something happened, and if you don't tell us eventually, something worse might happen. We're your friends, and we're supposed to help you."  
  
"Alright. You wanna know?" exploded. "We kissed, alright? One fucking kiss. We had a god damn argument about it, and right now it's a little tense, all right? So mind your own fucking business."  
  
Sirius sat back down, fully dressed. James meekly sat next to him. "Sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to pry. And sorry Remus. It's your business too."  
  
Remus forced a smile. "It's alright. No worries. Now why don't we cheer up so the girls don't suspect anything?"  
  
Peter, who had been standing in a corner trying to avoid the conflict, started talking about the latest prank. As always, Remus came up with the best way to carry the plan out, and Sirius came up with new additions to the prank to make it more enjoyable. James and Pete gave their own additions, promising this and that.  
  
They rode back to the castle, Sirius and Remus sitting as far away from each other as possible. The girls crowded into the coach with them, and Barbara recounted some interesting things that had happened to her in her hometown, Tiverton, Rhode Island.  
  
Remus didn't have to force himself to like her-as a friend. It would take a little more to love her. 


	5. Pinky Promise

Author: Abinikai, Not_Daves_Sister. You name it.  
  
Fandom: Harry Potter  
  
Title: Trust  
  
Pairings: RL/SB, JP/LE, RL/BS  
  
Year: Sixth  
  
Rating: PG, just because young kids need their parents to decide if they should know about slash. It's not the most-important-thing for children to know.  
  
Disclaimer: I need money! But alas, I'm not making it off this. See? This isn't mine, and I'm obviously not making money off it.  
  
Dedication: I'm running out of people to dedicate this to. How about to Kris, who's birthday it was the other day. I'm going to his surprise party today, in about ten minutes actually. He's going to be a minister someday. I don't think he knows what slash is, but this can still be dedicated to him, right? I won't tell you his email, though b/c he probably won't be that happy about it. Happy b-day, Kris!  
  
Chapter Five: Pinky Promise  
  
Remus straightened his shirt. Sirius was on the bed, giving him advice about his date, and James was reading a Quidditch magazine on his bed. Peter was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Remus, if she offers gum, it means she wants to kiss you. And when she does kiss you, don't scrape your teeth against hers. And then, if she opens her mouth a little, slip your tongue in and French her."  
  
"Siri, I know you've been on a lot of dates, and can probably give me the best advice I could want, but could ya shut up for a minute?" Remus threw a pillow at Sirius and laughed.  
  
Sirius looked indignantly out from under the pillow and stuck his tongue out. "Suit yourself, Moony. Just don't screw it up!"  
  
Remus laughed again. "Don't worry. I won't. Thanks Siri, for making this possible."  
  
Sirius smiled sadly. "No problem." Remus tried to ignore the guilt rising in his stomach.  
  
Remus went out to the front doors, where Barbara was waiting. "He, Remus. What's up?" she asked, smiling prettily. Strangely, Remus' heart didn't leap for her the same way it did when Sirius smiled at him. He brushed it off as something insignificant.  
  
"Not much. You?"  
  
"I'm happy to be here, especially with you."  
  
Remus forced a smile. They walked in uncomfortable silence out to the lake where they were having a dinner picnic, arranged by the house elves that Sirius knew directly.  
  
They talked about many different things, including lives and homes, music, books and anything else that came to mind.  
  
About halfway through dinner the sunset started. They were sitting right next to each other, and Barbara put her hand on Remus'. By the end of the sunset they were snuggling. Just as the last rays were disappearing, Barbara leaned up and kissed him. The kiss progressed, becoming more passionate. Soon, they were frenching, and Barbara's hands were wandering around his body.  
  
Remus pulled away. Barbara looked at him questioningly. "What's wrong Remy? It was going so well."  
  
"Thanks, Barb. You helped."  
  
"What do you mean, Remus? Helped with what?"  
  
Remus sighed. He didn't want to hurt her. "Do you know why Sirius set you up with me?" She shook her head. "Because he loves me. I mean, he says he does. And I told him that I just wanted to be friends. We kissed over the summer and-I told him I wasn't gay. You just showed me that I really am."  
  
Barbara laughed nervously. "Great. My first boyfriend, and he turns gay after five minutes of kissing me."  
  
"No, Barb. It's not you. Apparently I've been gay since Sirius knew me, I just didn't know myself. I found out over the summer, and I was scared. So I forced myself straight. It's not you, I swear. You're a great kisser, and you have a wonderful personality. If you want, I'll still help you develop that film."  
  
Barbara shook her head. "No, but thanks. Glad I could be of service." She smiled, a little sadly. "I should have known it was too good to be true."  
  
"Sorry I'm not straight, Barb, but-"  
  
She interrupted him. "Hey, it's not your fault. Anyways, I didn't think we clicked all the way. I don't know you that well, and I don't understand you either. You're.strange. Nice, but a little strange."  
  
"Thanks. For your information, if I were straight, I would definitely want to date you. You should try Pete. He's looking for a girl, and you'd get along well with him, I can tell."  
  
"You wanna set us up on a date?"  
  
Remus and Barbara agreed on setting her up with Peter, and then walked back to the castle together. They agreed to be friends, since going out wasn't exactly an option.  
  
Before the castle, Barbara stopped Remus. "Hey, Remy. I don't know you or Sirius that well, but I can tell he loves you just from watching him. And I'm pretty sure you're in love with him. Promise me you'll tell him, right?" Barbara held out her pinky, smiling and happy.  
  
"Tonight. I'll tell you how it went in the morning." She nodded and went to her dorm. Remus waited a little, then headed up to his room.  
  
* * *  
  
Sirius was lying on the bed waiting for him. James was out with Lily, and Peter was probably looking for girls. Sirius was waiting though, reading a magazine and looking at his watch often.  
  
Sirius looked up when Remus walked in. Remus turned around and muttered a spell. Sirius raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Remus came and stood before Sirius. Then he sat on the bed a little away from the black-haired boy.  
  
"So how'd the date go?" asked Sirius, for he was dying to hear. Even if it went well and he would never have Remus again, he wanted Remus to be happy. Of course, if the date didn't go well, he would be happy too.  
  
"I'm setting her up with Peter for a dinner or something."  
  
"So it went badly?" he asked, afraid that his friend was hurt.  
  
"No, it went well. She helped me discover something I didn't really know."  
  
Sirius was now extremely interested. "And what was that, Remy?"  
  
"This." Remus moved in on Sirius and gave him a kiss full on the lips. He pulled away a few inches. Sirius had been too surprised to kiss back, and Remus was suddenly afraid that his black dog didn't love him anymore.  
  
That belief was soon dismissed. Seconds after Remus pulled away, Sirius pulled him back down. Hands didn't wander, and there was no frenching, but the kiss was heart-felt on both sides. It didn't last long, but it was intense and passionate. Remus' heart soared, and he felt that nothing could be better. Sirius felt that his entire world had just come together and fixed itself-and fixed itself well.  
  
After a few moments, Remus pulled back and rested his head on Sirius' chest. They were lying on the bed, entangled in each other's arms and very content. Sirius wrapped his arms around his wolf and sighed a sigh of content.  
  
"So what'd you do to the door?"  
  
"Silence charm, locking charm. I didn't want anyone walking in on us."  
  
"How'd far you get with Barb?"  
  
"French kissing. Then I saw that I was definitely not straight. I pulled away and told her the entire story. She understood, and made me promise to tell you."  
  
"I must thank her tomorrow. I love you Remus."  
  
"I'm not sure if I feel the same. I definitely care for you. But I'm not sure."  
  
"I understand. You'll be sure soon. You'll figure it out."  
  
"The wolf's sure. It loves you."  
  
"Well I love the wolf, too. I love every part of you. Every single part."  
  
"I'm afraid, Siri."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
Remus sat up and wrapped his arms around his body. Somewhere in the kissing, he didn't remember where, his shirt had come off. "Of relationships. Kissing. Sex. Criticism, people not understanding."  
  
"Remy, you should know better. Look at Barb-she already understands. And I'll protect you. And we won't have sex-we won't even French-until you're ready. I promise."  
  
"Thanks, Sirius. Thanks."  
  
"For what? It's nothing if I get to be with you."  
  
"I know. Just thanks."  
  
"Why, Remus? Why are you thanking me?"  
  
"Because I trust you." 


End file.
